Recently, I "celebrated" my half-birthday, and it has me thinking about how I want to spend my last six months on this side of 30 -- in other words, I want to end my 25th year with a bang and make sure I've gotten everything out of my system.
There are certain things I feel like I won't be able to get away with once I cross the mid-20s threshold. For whatever reason, 26 feels like it will be a hell of a lot more adultlike than 25 does. Certain things just aren't "acceptable" anymore (not that they necessarily were at 25 either, but that is neither here nor there).
So, I've got just about six months to get away with these 26 things ...
1. Ask my parents to pick me up from the bars. Sure, this may have been funny to them the first 30 times they did it, but now I think they're just getting annoyed. And sleep-deprived. Definitely both.
2. Get kicked out of a bar. Can't remember if it ever has happened before, but I don't need to tell this story post-25.
3. Spend entirely too much money on the weekends. Maybe every so often I can treat myself to a getaway or big night out, but my money definitely should be spent on "adult" things rather than four rounds of Fireball shots.
4. Lose my phone. Let's face it: regardless of your age, this actually is never good. Nor is it okay.
5. Work just to work. I'm over that. Time to do something I love and look forward to each day (which I am doing now fortunately!)
6. Blackout on a Wednesday. Sounds fun to do this for about the first few months after getting out of school until it doesn't anymore. It's just painful now. In so many ways.
7. Sleep away an entire Sunday (or Saturday). Greasy food, Netflix binges and my bed for an entire day can't last forever. I've got six more months to be lazy before I really need to start taking advantage of my weekends.
8. Leave my credit card at the bar. It's going to be embarrassing if I have to go into a bar on a Sunday morning to collect my credit card and sign for the 20% tip the bar added because it's their "policy." I just need to be responsible and put my card back in my wallet where it came from.
9. Try a new hair color and/or haircut. I won't be able to experiment so much with my look as I get older. I guess if I really want to dye my hair purple, now is the time to do it ...
10. Be friends with someone I don't actually want to be friends with. I'm cutting out the friends I am basically indifferent about. By 26, I want to feel confident that the friends I have and keep close are my best friends.
11. Paint my nails black. This one will be a challenge. Is super dark purple or blue still ok? People start to ask questions about women (not girls) who have black nails.
12. Wear a skimpy/revealing outfit. I don't even need an explanation here.
13. Exceed the data limit on my cell phone. For one, I don't want to have to pay the overage charges, nor do I plan on factoring that into my monthly expenses. Two, if this happens, it is a sign that I am on my phone way too much anyways. The second-half of my 20s will be spent focusing my time on more important things in life.
14. Stay in a seriously-below-average hotel. Slumming it on trips is not cute anymore. I am learning that a successful trip means actually having to spend money on something better than a hostel.
15. Get entirely too wasted at family functions/holidays. The older I get, the more I appreciate my family and our get-togethers. I used to love family events because it was an excuse to get hammered on my grandparents' dime. Now I actually want to hangout and spend meaningful time with my family.
16. Steal something. Guilty -- oops. Sometimes I just really want that cool pint glass from the bar. It's not really cool to do this at age 26, though.
17. Post a 120-second Snapchat story. Guilty -- again. One, no one cares that much. Two, I probably don't even remember half of what I snapped. Three, this will avoid me having to explain myself and what I did the night before to all of my Snapchat friends.
18. Ask my parents for money. Seriously the worst.thing.ever. I feel like a total loser and a failure as a daughter when I have to ask mom and dad for some money. I mean, can I not even prioritize my life enough to make sure I can cover rent before I drop money at the bar? Time to be fully self-sufficient.
19. Fight with my parents. I think I pretty much stopped doing this when I got out of college, but now I really need to quit it with the little fights. Besides, what have my parents ever really done to my anyways?!
20. Wake up and realize I have no F-ing clue where the F I am. What used to be the punchline of a funny weekend story is now actually terrifying in more ways than one.
21. Go on a date just to make a good story. Time to quit the games and start getting serious about my future. Plus, dates are really, really awkward.
22. Try a juice cleanse or some other unhealthy diet. What is important is that I am healthy, not necessarily skinny and able to fit into the tiniest pair of jeans. I don't want to starve myself or deprive myself of foods that I love and make me happy.
23. Apply for another store credit card. Just needs to stop. It's always the line, "want to save an additional 20% today by opening a store credit card?" It's getting out of hand and I'm certainly not doing my credit score a favor.
24. Show up to work hungover. This actually is the worst thing ever and I can't hide it anymore. No matter how fun the night before was, a work hangover is NEVER WORTH IT. Ever.
25. Dance on a table/couch/chair/bar. Nothing good ever comes from a story that starts with, "hey, remember when I danced on the bar at that club on my 27th birthday?" It's embarrassing and everyone prefers a young hot chick instead anyways.
26. Waste time having a relationship that clearly is a dead end. All fun and games until I am on the only single one out of a pool of married friends having babies.
.jpg)
